Emotional Intelligence [EQ]

Emotional Intelligence [EQ]

Today’s big challenge of personal and professional life is; dealing with emotions. Human beings are emotional creatures, it’s important to understand and deal with emotions. To manage emotions, we need to learn emotional intelligence [EQ]. EQ is more important than IQ.

Thoughts and Emotions are parts of your stored memory.  Here are the definitions:

Thought: an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.

Emotion: a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

Emotions are very strong feelings, if you are disturbing anyone’s deeper emotions. Be ready to face consequences. Because most of the people are living like animals, if you trigger them emotionally then react like an animal. We are human being's, we have intelligence; if we use intelligence on every emotional trigger, we should respond and not react.

Example: Assume someone calls you a Dog, suddenly you jump on him like a real dog. In this case you are proving him. Because you reacted almost similar to a dog. If you use your EQ; you don’t react, you will respond. If someone calls you Dog, just think for a second, are you really a Dog? Your intelligence tells you that you are a human being. So, the person calling you as a Dog is either blind or mad,  just give a smile and move on. This I call as an EQ response. It upsets the other person and he will behave like a real dog.

Here is a great example, how Buddha used EQ: 

Buddha was passing through a village. Some people were angry, very much against his teachings. They abused and insulted him. Buddha listened silently and said, "If you are finished, then allow me to move on. I have to reach the next village, and they will be waiting for me. If something is still remaining in your mind, then when I am passing back by this route, you can finish it."

They said, "We have abused you, insulted you. Are you not going to answer?"

Buddha said, "I will never react. What you do is up to you --- I will  never react, you cannot force me to do something. You can abuse me; that is up to you --- I am not a slave. I have become a free man. I act from my center, not from my periphery, and your abuse can touch only the periphery, not my center. My center remains untouched."

Air or wind can touch or disturb the tides or periphery of the ocean. Deep ocean remains stable and undisturbed. Learn to stay in deep. If you are living in the periphery, small air blows can disturb you.

So, Buddha said, “Now I am centered. Ten years before it would have been different; if you had abused me, then I would have reacted. But now I only act.”

Here is another example of EQ:

Here the dog is controlled by its tail; actually, the dog should control its tail. Similarly, don’t be a slave to your emotions, be the master to your emotions. Egg Example is the best one on EQ.

Emotional intelligence explained with Human Brain: (based on scientific study)

Look at the below image: emotions are marked at center of our brain, thinking or intelligence are at the forehead. Generally, all our emotions are triggered after receiving them thru Ears and Eyes. Unfortunately, most of the people not using intelligent areas of the brain. If you start practicing using intelligence, you will not react, you respond.

How to practice or start using EQ:

Remember, today most of your behaviors and actions are results of repeated practices. Start practicing of using intelligence, this erases earlier brain neurons paths and recreates new neural paths that will redirect every input to intelligence parts of the brain, before responding. If you keep on using regularly, these new brain neurons will become highways and your brain will automatically redirect everything to intelligence parts. [Observe most of the Sage’s and Swamiji’s; they use this EQ in most efficient way.]

Here are the simple practices, that will help you to redirect and use your intelligence over the emotional reactions:

1. Someone behind you continuously honks at the traffic signal, instead of thinking bad about him and boil your emotions, use your intelligence. He could be illiterate or not cultured in a good environment and making these actions and you can’t teach him good behaviours in 1minute, so just relax. 
2. Kids are making a lot of noise, instead of thinking bad. Just imagine for a second, you were also doing more or less similar things when you were a kid.
3. Someone driving rashly on the road, just laugh at him. Instead of feeling your emotions. This rashness is a cultured and consistent habit of that person, you are not here to correct everyone.
4. Someone abuses you, think for a minute and respond. Stop reacting.
5. Someone treats you in a very bad manner or some people are irritating you. Just think for a minute, if they get the same kind of parents, education, environment and learning as what you have, he or she might behave similar to you. Understand that, they lack opportunities or not matured like you.
6. Choose every emotional trigger which is happening in your surroundings for your practice. Understand all are happening with some reason or purpose, simply nothing will happen. And self-evaluate yourself, how cool your emotions are in those situations and conditions.  Few examples are given below:

• Sudden power cut.
• Computer or mobile freaks out.
• Online order not delivered on-time.
• Sudden change in work.
• Sudden change in environment.
• Your vacation plan got cancelled.
• Your friend keeps you waiting.
• Your bike or car got an issue.
• Meeting does not start on-time.
• Getting trouble in joining a meeting.
• Harsh email received from your co-worker or client.
• Someone blaming you for other's mistakes.
• Unexpected happenings.

“30 Minutes meditation in a day makes you master of Emotional Intelligence” [Ref: Meditation and EQ]

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence:

1. It will avoid many personal and relationship issues.
2. It helps you to handle difficult situations in your professional life.
3. It helps you to build good and healthy relationships with clients and business.
4. It helps you to make the right decision in the worst condition. (Personal and Professional)
5. This is one of the most required soft skills in current days.

Here is a Final touch:

Dog is chasing this scooter guy, he parks the scooter, takes a stone and runs behind the dog. It runs away. Later he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind, the dog runs away. Again, he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind the dog. Now think and tell me?! Is he controlling the dog or dog controlling him!  Don’t allow dogs to control you…Use your emotional intelligence.

Click and Read this section to avoid emotional Critics à Sending Email/Message when you are angry?

Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)

• Kannada Blogger

Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.