Emotional Intelligence [EQ]
Today’s big challenge of personal and professional life is; dealing with emotions. Human beings are emotional creatures, it’s important to understand and deal with emotions. To manage emotions, we need to learn emotional intelligence [EQ]. EQ is more important than IQ.
Thoughts
and Emotions are parts of your stored memory. Here are the definitions:
Thought: an idea
or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.
Emotion: a strong
feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.
Emotions are very strong feelings, if you are
disturbing anyone’s deeper emotions. Be ready to face consequences. Because
most of the people are living like animals, if you trigger them emotionally
then react like an animal. We are human being's, we have intelligence; if we
use intelligence on every emotional trigger, we should respond and not react.
Example: Assume someone calls you a Dog, suddenly
you jump on him like a real dog. In this case you are proving him. Because you
reacted almost similar to a dog. If you use your EQ; you don’t react, you will
respond. If someone calls you Dog, just think for a second, are you really a
Dog? Your intelligence tells you that you are a human being. So, the person
calling you as a Dog is either blind or mad, just give a smile and move
on. This I call as an EQ response. It upsets the other person and he will
behave like a real dog.
Here is a great example, how Buddha used EQ:
Buddha was passing through a village. Some people
were angry, very much against his teachings. They abused and insulted him.
Buddha listened silently and said, "If you are finished, then allow me to
move on. I have to reach the next village, and they will be waiting for me. If
something is still remaining in your mind, then when I am passing back by this
route, you can finish it."
They said, "We have abused you, insulted you.
Are you not going to answer?"
Buddha said, "I will never react. What you do
is up to you --- I will never react, you cannot force me to do something.
You can abuse me; that is up to you --- I am not a slave. I have become a free
man. I act from my center, not from my periphery, and your abuse can touch only
the periphery, not my center. My center remains untouched."
Air or wind can touch or disturb the tides or
periphery of the ocean. Deep ocean remains stable and undisturbed. Learn to
stay in deep. If you are living in the periphery, small air blows can disturb
you.
So, Buddha said, “Now I am centered. Ten years
before it would have been different; if you had abused me, then I would have
reacted. But now I only act.”
Here is
another example of EQ:
Here the dog is controlled by its tail; actually,
the dog should control its tail. Similarly, don’t be a slave to your emotions,
be the master to your emotions. Egg Example is the best one on EQ.
Look at
the below image: emotions are marked at center of our brain, thinking or intelligence
are at the forehead. Generally, all our emotions are triggered after receiving
them thru Ears and Eyes. Unfortunately, most of the people not using
intelligent areas of the brain. If you start practicing using intelligence, you
will not react, you respond.
How to practice or start using EQ:
Remember,
today most of your behaviors and actions are results of repeated practices.
Start practicing of using intelligence, this erases earlier brain neurons paths
and recreates new neural paths that will redirect every input to intelligence
parts of the brain, before responding. If you keep on using regularly, these
new brain neurons will become highways and your brain will automatically
redirect everything to intelligence parts. [Observe most of the Sage’s and
Swamiji’s; they use this EQ in most efficient way.]
Here are the simple practices, that will help you to redirect and use your intelligence over the emotional reactions:
- Someone
behind you continuously honks at the traffic signal, instead of thinking
bad about him and boil your emotions, use your intelligence. He could be
illiterate or not cultured in a good environment and making these actions
and you can’t teach him good behaviours in 1minute, so just relax.
- Kids are
making a lot of noise, instead of thinking bad. Just imagine for a second,
you were also doing more or less similar things when you were a kid.
- Someone
driving rashly on the road, just laugh at him. Instead of feeling your
emotions. This rashness is a cultured and consistent habit of that person,
you are not here to correct everyone.
- Someone
abuses you, think for a minute and respond. Stop reacting.
- Someone
treats you in a very bad manner or some people are irritating you. Just
think for a minute, if they get the same kind of parents, education,
environment and learning as what you have, he or she might behave similar
to you. Understand that, they lack opportunities or not matured like you.
- Choose
every emotional trigger which is happening in your surroundings for your
practice. Understand all are happening with some reason or purpose, simply
nothing will happen. And self-evaluate yourself, how cool your emotions
are in those situations and conditions. Few examples are given
below:
- Sudden
power cut.
- Computer
or mobile freaks out.
- Online
order not delivered on-time.
- Sudden
change in work.
- Sudden
change in environment.
- Your
vacation plan got cancelled.
- Your
friend keeps you waiting.
- Your
bike or car got an issue.
- Meeting
does not start on-time.
- Getting
trouble in joining a meeting.
- Harsh
email received from your co-worker or client.
- Someone
blaming you for other's mistakes.
- Unexpected happenings.
“30 Minutes meditation in a day makes you master of
Emotional Intelligence” [Ref: Meditation and EQ]
Benefits
of Emotional Intelligence:
- It will
avoid many personal and relationship issues.
- It helps
you to handle difficult situations in your professional life.
- It helps
you to build good and healthy relationships with clients and business.
- It helps
you to make the right decision in the worst condition. (Personal and
Professional)
- This is
one of the most required soft skills in current days.
Here is a
Final touch:
Dog is chasing
this scooter guy, he parks the scooter, takes a stone and runs behind the dog.
It runs away. Later he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he
parks and runs behind, the dog runs away. Again, he starts scooter, dog comes
back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind the dog. Now think and tell
me?! Is he controlling the dog or dog controlling him! Don’t allow dogs
to control you…Use your emotional intelligence.
Click and Read this section to avoid emotional Critics à Sending Email/Message when you are angry?
