Anger Management
There is a saying: When you get angry take a deep breath and count 1
to 10. Reason; when you are angry, any decision you take at that moment may not
be a right decision, because you are not using your intelligence before you
respond.
Let’s see with few examples, how anger affects life:
Story of Stupid Father:
Father brought new Blue Audi car, he parked in garage at home. His 4 year
old son looked at it and he carved his father name using keys sharp edge.
Suddenly his father noticed that entire car got big scratches, he took some
wood and beat him heavily. After few minutes, he realized that it’s a great
damage he did on his son, because his son’s both the hands got broken by his
evil act. He looked both car and his son, he realized that he can buy two new
Audi cars, but he can’t give back his son’s hands. Later he gave insight into his
son’s act on the car? He had written – Father’s Name and I LOVE YOU DAD .
Story of Wise Father:
Son came and asked, dad now a days I’m getting angry very frequently,
tell me how to overcome? Father suggested him, any time you feel angry you go
to the tree which is opposite to our house, take 5 nails and hit. Do this act, every
time your feel angry. His son followed his dad’s instructions, started doing it
as and when he was angry. Slowly his frequency of anger reduced and he started getting
into no angry state.
Son asked his father, now days I’m not feeling angry and some time I feel
joy and happy. Father suggested, any time you feel joy or happy, go the tree
you nailed and remove 5 nails (which were nailed earlier) from the tree. Do
this act every time you feel happy or joy? Son started following his father’s
instruction. After few days he removed all the nails form the tree. He returned
back to his father and asked. I have removed all of them, what next?
His father took him to the tree and shown the wounds and damage that happened
to the tree when he nailed. After removing nails also, he can see big wounds
and damage on the trunk of the tree. Father explained to his son. Anger is
something similar to this, if you scold or criticize or conduct bad actions
when you are angry, it will not be possible to erase those wound of mind or
body which are created by your actions. You can do whatever the favour or give whatever
the material you want, those bad memories or acts will stay forever.
It explains that, when you are angry do nothing, take no decision, and
take a break.
How anger affects your health:
Any negative feeling disturbs you, especially; Anger, Jealous, enmity,
and revenge are the worst negative feelings these are the root cause for many
health issues.
Let me explain using examples: A Russian psychiatrist Pavlov conducted
an experiment on the dog with the meat (Other Ref source: Click). He predicted
the dogs would salivate in response to the food placed in front of them, but he
noticed that his dogs would begin to salivate whenever they heard the footsteps
of his assistant who was bringing them the food.
After few days he just changed the pattern of serving, before he bring
a meat bowl, he asked to ring a bell, after few minutes he started serving meat
bowl. After few days dog realized the pattern, the moment he bells, dog started
salivation.
With this he realized that material is nothing to do with our body,
thought can trigger physiological and hormonal changes in the body.
So, when you have good feelings you produce some chemical in the body
that supplies to, all the body organs and your feel joy and happy. Similarly
whey you have negative feeling, your body produces some chemicals that is
equivalent to poison, it will impact every organ in the body and that
introduces; down, dullness, sickness, and diseases in the body.
Anger, Jealous, enmity and revenge feeling are like poison tablets (capsules)
you are consuming and thinking that other person will die. This will never
happen, person who consumes capsules will die, not the person you think of…
Today’s most of the health issue are arising due to Anger and Fear.
(Ref: Why
You Get Disease)
What if someone create anger in
you?
Here is what best advice given by father to the son. Before he died, he
called his son and told him. You may not be possible to understand what I’m
saying now, but I want to you to remember these words and use them when you are
matured enough to understand what those words means to you. And don’t forget,
what I’m teaching right now.
Father guides his son, if someone create anger in you? Tell the person
you will come after 24 hours to answer him. And wait for 24 hours, after 24
hours whatever comes to you, go and do.
(Source: Osho:
if somebody creates anger in you)
Sending Email/Message when you
are angry?
It’s really a good idea to follow the method, what our great leader Abraham
Lincoln followed.
He was about to criticize General Meade for his actions and wrote
a letter for the same, fortunately it was not sent to him, here is that letter,
It was found among other unsent angry letters after Lincoln’s death.
My Dear General,
I do not believe you
appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape.
He was within our easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection
with our other late success, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be
prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can
you possibly do so south of the river, when you take with you very
few -- no more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would
be unreasonable to expect and I do not expect that you can now
affect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed
immeasurably because of it.
-Abraham Lincoln
Any time he feels to criticize someone, Lincoln used to write a letters
and those were never sent to the recipients. He was writing reading self and
keeping with him only, he never sent those letters to any.
Still you want to write an email or express criticism or anger? Follow
the below steps:
Step 1: Write how angry you are
at this person.
Say exactly what’s on your mind.
Step 2: Add this sentence to
the bottom of the email
You know what, it’s no problem. If I were in
your shoes, I probably would have made the same mistake. It was my fault for
not thoroughly explaining the directions.
You’re an invaluable asset not only to our
business [or my life], but to the entire comradery of the team. It’s a petty
mistake, one I hope won’t happen again, yet I understand. Next time, I’ll be
clearer on the directions. My apologies. Thanks again for everything you do.
Step 3: Send the email to
yourself, read it 30 minutes later.
Check, how does it feel to receive that?
Some situations demands anger, how to deal with it?
If situations demand your anger, try this way; show your anger the way
you are supposed to show and make that expression of anger not affecting your
internal organs of the body and bodily hormones.
Because some professions are not possible to run without showing an
anger. Use above techniques to run the business as usual. And make sure that
anger should be purely an acting (external) and internally you should be in absolute
peace. Like one person playing a villain role and behaves as a wild like a rude
animal, but in his real life, he is a very innocent, cool and calm person.
Understand the difference in acting and being, when situations demands
your anger. Just act don't react.
Anger is disease. Best methods
to come out of Anger is; start practicing meditation. Meditation is a medicine
for Anger!
Refer below link for more help on Anger:
How to Control Anger - Sadhguru
How to deal with Anger, 3 Tips in less than 60 seconds
ANGER harms ME not THEM: BK Shivani
Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli
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