Look at me, not the shadow in water.
Most of the time we understand things and people by other's perceptions,
understandings, views and beliefs. If you are one among them, it's not too late
to stop that habit.
Every individual is unique in this world, how can you simply trust and
believe other’s beliefs, views and perceptions, until you experience or sense
it. [I know there are few exceptions like Coronavirus, Cyanide, poison,
electric power and so on, we don’t need to experience them]
It happens
to me several times, people come and tell, he is good, or he is bad. I
never go
with their opinions. Reason: I'm not saying they are wrong. They may be
absolutely right, but the same is not true for me.
When I was leading a team in one of my previous company, I assigned some task to
someone, who is not part of my team, that task was interdependent task from the
other team member. Some people in my team told me. Vishnu, did you assign that task
to him? He will never complete on-time. He may take minimum two to three weeks
to address.
I just ignored my fellow member's suggestions or opinions; I went and
spoke with him and requested his help. It’s amazing! with-in two days he
completed the given task, delivered and updated status to me.
In fact, several times I have assigned several tasks to him, every single
time, he gave
great importance to my requests and delivered things much earlier than
my expectations. Neither I'm his reporting manager nor I used my official
powers.
It's not an exaggeration, in his last day with that organisation, he came
to my desk and informed me about his leaving. I wished him all the best.
One more thing happened with me in my previous office. Some tasks were
pending for
6 months with lots of negative opinions and feedback from clients for
the delay. When I took up the management role, I spoke with each individual and
it happened; we delivered one of the long pending automation job within two to three
months of time and received appreciation from the client. Same resources, same
skills, same task? How was it possible? Don't listen to old stories and their
views and opinions. Go fresh, be compassionate, consider, trust and respect
all. Things will happen in a magical way.
Remember, every single story of other person is their own experience of
life. Prejudice and assumptions are not good.
Let me give one example which I learned from spiritual teachings.
One Sage was living in a graveyard, and he was training and doing things,
which are against society and culture. Because of his popularity, messages went
to all the corners of the country.
That country was ruled by the King, his daughter got frustrated by
hearing that news, as one of the Sage is bad with his lifestyles, culture and
approaches. She informed her father as I will go and teach him a lesson. When
she visited that graveyard, Sage explained 120 poems to her, which influenced
her, and
she settled at the graveyard by dancing and singing with him. After few days,
King's wife feared for her daughter's absence and informed King. She took some
soldiers to
teach a
lesson to that Sage and bring their daughter back. She reached the
graveyard, sage explained 90 poems to her, she got influenced and settled at his place.
After few days, King really got confused by the happenings. He got
worried with
his daughter and wife’s absence, he decided to go and punish that Sage.
He reached Sage's place, Sage explained 30 poems to him, and King got influenced
by it and thought
to settling
with him.
Out of curiosity, King reached Sage and asked him, I heard very bad
stories about you, people outside are thinking you as a bad person. But in my
experience, I have not found any such things with you, why?
Sage answered, he asked him to look at the still lake on full moon day
and asked him, what are you seeing? King replied I see moon. Sage asked him to look
at the sky and asked if both are the same or different? King replied as both
are the same.
Then Sage throwed
a stone into the stilled lake and asked again, are you still seeing the same?
King replied no, now moon is scattered and I can't see a clear moon in the Lake.
Sage asked the
king, how about the moon in the sky? King replied it's clear and perfect.
Sage told King, the things you heard about me were the reflection of the
lake, many might have witnessed reflection of the moon, not the real moon.
Sage said,
now you are seeing real me, all the bad news, stories and different opinions are
just reflection of water, not the real moon.
Similarly, never go with people's opinions, it may be just a
reflection. If someone is really forcing their opinions, there may be some
selfishness or fear behind it. Better try to experience the real moon.
You may wonder why 120, 90, and 30 poems Sage used to teach. Experience
of life matters, to make them realise the truth.
Good Story
to know, why you
should not listen to negative people: http://storyroute.blogspot.com/2015/05/the-deaf-frog.html
Below is a Moneys experiment of gossips and negativity:
Don't allow someone to fill your mind with their experiences, prejudice,
gossips and assumptions, use your own intelligence and have your own
experiences.
Examples: person who is standing under the coconut tree get hurt by
coconut fall. It may not be true to you; you may get benefit from the coconut
fall. Matter of fact one in a million get hurt, remaining all are benefited by
coconut fall.
Life is very dynamic, don't believe or follow any static and historic
guidelines. Life is like a river, no one ever possible crossed same river
twice. Every second it changes to new, new curves, new force, new content, new
sounds, new temperature, new colour, new design, and new look. How anyone can
see the same river again, similarly every person on this earth is very dynamic
and new.
Best way to understand or sync with someone:
1. Delete all your prejudice and be fresh.
2. Delete your EGO, it's not allowing you to see the real person.
3. Delete all your experiences and comparisons.
4. Just observe like a baby, as it treats all with the same respect and
with no discriminations.
5. Delete your Religion, Caste, Colour, Position, Education, Wealth, and
so on. Just be as you are a person with nothing and no identity, you have less
possibility to hate someone.
6. Be true, be real, and be the same both inside and outside.
7. Stop listening to gossips and see real.
8. Learn to see; what you see not how you see. [how-
is inclusion of your mind, what - is NO inclusions or comparisons of
mind or history]
Most of your life decisions are under the control of other’s opinions.
That's not good. Others give their operations based on their maturity,
knowledge and experience. So, trust your own self.
Example: Someone call you Dog, someone call you God, you know you are
human. Never ever give a space to listen history to understand the present. If
you do so, you are biased with your understandings and you miss the reality.
Prejudice is like poison. Poison kills you once, prejudice kills you ever
second.
Don’t listen to the fox: (Video link: Fox and the Sour Grapes)
Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli
Author Disclaimer:
