Emotional Intelligence [EQ]

Emotional Intelligence [EQ]

Today’s big challenge of personal and professional life is; dealing with emotions. Human beings are emotional creatures, it’s important to understand and deal with emotions. To manage emotions, we need to learn emotional intelligence [EQ]. EQ is more important than IQ.

Thoughts and Emotions are parts of your stored memory.  Here are the definitions:

Thought: an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.

Emotion: a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

Emotions are very strong feelings, if you are disturbing anyone’s deeper emotions. Be ready to face consequences. Because most of the people are living like animals, if you trigger them emotionally then react like an animal. We are human being's, we have intelligence; if we use intelligence on every emotional trigger, we should respond and not react.

Example: Assume someone calls you a Dog, suddenly you jump on him like a real dog. In this case you are proving him. Because you reacted almost similar to a dog. If you use your EQ; you don’t react, you will respond. If someone calls you Dog, just think for a second, are you really a Dog? Your intelligence tells you that you are a human being. So, the person calling you as a Dog is either blind or mad,  just give a smile and move on. This I call as an EQ response. It upsets the other person and he will behave like a real dog.

Here is a great example, how Buddha used EQ: 

Buddha was passing through a village. Some people were angry, very much against his teachings. They abused and insulted him. Buddha listened silently and said, "If you are finished, then allow me to move on. I have to reach the next village, and they will be waiting for me. If something is still remaining in your mind, then when I am passing back by this route, you can finish it."

They said, "We have abused you, insulted you. Are you not going to answer?"

Buddha said, "I will never react. What you do is up to you --- I will  never react, you cannot force me to do something. You can abuse me; that is up to you --- I am not a slave. I have become a free man. I act from my center, not from my periphery, and your abuse can touch only the periphery, not my center. My center remains untouched."

Air or wind can touch or disturb the tides or periphery of the ocean. Deep ocean remains stable and undisturbed. Learn to stay in deep. If you are living in the periphery, small air blows can disturb you.

So, Buddha said, “Now I am centered. Ten years before it would have been different; if you had abused me, then I would have reacted. But now I only act.”

Here is another example of EQ:

Here the dog is controlled by its tail; actually, the dog should control its tail. Similarly, don’t be a slave to your emotions, be the master to your emotions. Egg Example is the best one on EQ.

Emotional intelligence explained with Human Brain: (based on scientific study)

Look at the below image: emotions are marked at center of our brain, thinking or intelligence are at the forehead. Generally, all our emotions are triggered after receiving them thru Ears and Eyes. Unfortunately, most of the people not using intelligent areas of the brain. If you start practicing using intelligence, you will not react, you respond.

How to practice or start using EQ:

Remember, today most of your behaviors and actions are results of repeated practices. Start practicing of using intelligence, this erases earlier brain neurons paths and recreates new neural paths that will redirect every input to intelligence parts of the brain, before responding. If you keep on using regularly, these new brain neurons will become highways and your brain will automatically redirect everything to intelligence parts. [Observe most of the Sage’s and Swamiji’s; they use this EQ in most efficient way.]

Here are the simple practices, that will help you to redirect and use your intelligence over the emotional reactions:

1. Someone behind you continuously honks at the traffic signal, instead of thinking bad about him and boil your emotions, use your intelligence. He could be illiterate or not cultured in a good environment and making these actions and you can’t teach him good behaviours in 1minute, so just relax. 
2. Kids are making a lot of noise, instead of thinking bad. Just imagine for a second, you were also doing more or less similar things when you were a kid.
3. Someone driving rashly on the road, just laugh at him. Instead of feeling your emotions. This rashness is a cultured and consistent habit of that person, you are not here to correct everyone.
4. Someone abuses you, think for a minute and respond. Stop reacting.
5. Someone treats you in a very bad manner or some people are irritating you. Just think for a minute, if they get the same kind of parents, education, environment and learning as what you have, he or she might behave similar to you. Understand that, they lack opportunities or not matured like you.
6. Choose every emotional trigger which is happening in your surroundings for your practice. Understand all are happening with some reason or purpose, simply nothing will happen. And self-evaluate yourself, how cool your emotions are in those situations and conditions.  Few examples are given below:

• Sudden power cut.
• Computer or mobile freaks out.
• Online order not delivered on-time.
• Sudden change in work.
• Sudden change in environment.
• Your vacation plan got cancelled.
• Your friend keeps you waiting.
• Your bike or car got an issue.
• Meeting does not start on-time.
• Getting trouble in joining a meeting.
• Harsh email received from your co-worker or client.
• Someone blaming you for other's mistakes.
• Unexpected happenings.

“30 Minutes meditation in a day makes you master of Emotional Intelligence” [Ref: Meditation and EQ]

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence:

1. It will avoid many personal and relationship issues.
2. It helps you to handle difficult situations in your professional life.
3. It helps you to build good and healthy relationships with clients and business.
4. It helps you to make the right decision in the worst condition. (Personal and Professional)
5. This is one of the most required soft skills in current days.

Here is a Final touch:

Dog is chasing this scooter guy, he parks the scooter, takes a stone and runs behind the dog. It runs away. Later he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind, the dog runs away. Again, he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind the dog. Now think and tell me?! Is he controlling the dog or dog controlling him!  Don’t allow dogs to control you…Use your emotional intelligence.

Click and Read this section to avoid emotional Critics à Sending Email/Message when you are angry?

Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)

• Kannada Blogger

Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.   

Power of LOVE

          Power of LOVE

When you are in full of love, you become totally lightweight. Power of gravity losses its capacity.

When you are making love with your partner, you both feel very lightweight. You jump and fly against the gravity, and that goes as easy as like a feather flying in air.

Ask people who play football or cricket, sometimes they fly in air in such a way that they themselves can't imagine it’s possible. It happened because of full involvement and love in the game they play.

When you are playing games you love and you are interested, you jump into the sky and you fly like a feather.

When you are in deep love and traveling, distance, duration, and feel is very short, light and joyful. Same distance, duration and feel becomes heavy, long and painful when you are not in love or lack of love.

Power of Love:

1. When you are in love with someone/something you eat less, still you don't feel hungry.

2. When you are doing work you love, you don't feel hungry and tired.

3. When you are in love with someone, you don't recognize how time is passing.

4. When you are doing something creative or loving your job, you don't recognize how time is passing.

5. When you are in love, most of the happenings in the world either go unnoticed by you or looks okay to you.

6. When you are in love, you become very courageous and you feel nothing is bigger than LOVE.

7. Love has no religion, no rules, no differentiation, it just happens.

8. Love happens by itself, it's impossible to make someone to love something or someone.

9. Love makes things beautiful, foods tasteful, and places peaceful.

10. Love is a language, it helps to connect hearts and nature.

11. Love is a source of courage, which can fight or withstand against the world.

12. Love is blind, it blinds the mind (blocks logical thinking and business thinking mind), and heart takes full in charge of it.

13. Love has no age, no time, no distance, it can happen in any age, at any time and with any distance, with anything or anyone.

14. Love is a dream and has capacity to make many dream to reality.

Being in love with someone, something and someway is the best way to keep yourself happy and healthy.

Most of the people are suffering because  of lack of love, so they don't like love, because they don't want someone to see with love, which they don't have.

Lack of love is a source of many psychological, physiological and criminal issues.

There are some proofs, that love even can extend the death. I have heard of it and many of you too might have heard as well, recently my close relatives grandfather expired. He had been hospitalized and doctors confirmed  that he can't live longer and  suggested for getting him discharged from hospital, but he was alive till his younger son came and saw/spoke to him, there are many real stories that have been proved, love has capacity to postpone the death.

Watch children play, they run, jump, dance and so on, they do this restlessly, they don’t know what is rest, even they forget to drink water and eat the food. But they don't get tired, they show great energy and their play is like feather movements under the fan/air blows. How this is possible? It's possible with love! They are in full of love with what they are doing. Whereas adults, they don't do anything, by sitting at one place or doing nothing they get tired and feel heavy, because they are with lack of love.

Love can make graveyard as a beautiful garden. If you are in lack of love, beautiful garden looks like a graveyard.

Jesus Christ and Satya Sai Baba realized the power of love, their work mainly focused on Love and nothing else.

If you are looking to enhance your will power and energy love, check where you are in the above table, if you are above the scale of 200 (Courage) your will power and energy levels are positive, most of the happenings in your life will be peaceful and joyful. If you are running any of the negative feelings like; shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, and pride, you will possibly experience more suffering and more troubles in life. To reduce negative energy or bring positive energy level greater than scale of 200, I recommend you to read the book: “The Magic“ By-Rhonda Byrne, practice the suggestions which are suggested in the book, that will help you to gain the higher energy levels.

We all need to learn and expand our love, beyond one person or one thing, like children. Loving everything and everyone kills all your desires/boredom and makes your life more beautiful than ever. Don't love only sun raise or sun sets, try loving sun in whole day. Similarly love everything you eat, smell, touch, and see. Try not to differentiate as this is good, that is bad. All the differentiation come from stored memories, mind, and belief system. If you start seeing things with no mind, you have less possibilities to hate many things in this world.

When you love the entire universe, tell me what can disturb you. Nothing can disturb the person, who is in love with everything and everyone and who likes and accepts universe’s actions and screenplays.

In love, biggest hurts looks very small, in hate or lack of love smallest hurt look big.

All boredom, all disinterest and all hate is causing just because; lack of love, if you are in love time passes in such a way; days, months, years, passes like a seconds. Children don’t get boredom only adults, because; adult are suffering from lack of love and lack of curiosity, that is the main reason they experience boredom and disinterest.

When you go to the restaurant to eat a food you love, you don’t mind to wait. When you are standing in a queue for movie ticket to watch your favorite stars movie, when you are waiting for a person you love, you are OK to wait for minutes or hours based on your love and its deepness/involvement. Similarly when you are driving in a road or using stairs if someone is troubling your way or waiting for a person you don’t like, in these situations; you don’t like delay of few seconds or waiting.

How to bring that back love:

• Stop doing things you think as important and serious, relax and stay calm. Stop all comparisons which make you feel jealous, angry or anxiety.
• Just start focusing on smallest happening in your surroundings; cloud movements, trees, birds, and insects, tap water flow, and so on. Watch closely and see there is no tension in them. They all are just cool, calm and normal.
• Stop criticizing, instead of that, understand the situation by getting into their shoes.
• Understand and accept, in this world all are unique in nature. Nothing is made for you, only machines can be possibly be made for someone or something, not the human beings.
• Realize that no one ever escaped from problems; Sri Rama, Sri Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Mohammad, and so on. All must undergo the situations of life.
• Like day and night, good and bad comes and goes in life, so you must accept both.
• Try seeing beauty in everything you see, develop curiosity, and develop interest in nature and its happenings.
• See how wonderful this universe functions: with same sand, same water and  same climate, each plant is capable to produce different things; groundnut contains oil in seeds, sugar cane produces sugar, jasmine produces fragrance, flower plants produces different colour flowers, cotton plants produces cotton, and so on. Using same sand and water, if you try; you can’t produce/include - oil, sugar, fragrance, colour, cotton and so on. But nature has capacity to bring wonders.
• Spend time with nature, play with kids, sand and water
• Stop thinking about Money, Power and Position they kill all your love and bring restlessness in to your life.
• Spend time with parents, friends and relatives. Visit some new places.
• Help strangers, Love someone with no reason, and try loving the person you hate.

Love has capacity to increase your will power, being in bliss and love gives you stronger will power. If all things are going against your will and nothing is happening in your way is a sign that you are suffering from lack of love and happiness.

Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)

• Kannada Blogger

Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.