Showing posts with label Life Lession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Lession. Show all posts

Saturday, 22 August 2020

Stop chasing behind property, name and fame!

 

Stop chasing behind property, name and fame!

In India it is common wisdom that the world is like a waiting room in a railway station; it is not your house. You are not going to remain in the waiting room forever. Nothing in the waiting room belongs to you—the furniture, the paintings on the wall . . .You use them— you see the painting, you sit on the chair, you rest on the bed—but nothing belongs to you. You are just here for a few minutes, or for a few hours at the most, then you will be gone.

Yes, what you have brought in with you, into the waiting room, you will take away with you; that's yours. What have you brought into the world? And the world certainly is a waiting room. The waiting may not be in seconds, minutes, hours, days, it may be in years; but what does it matter whether you wait seven hours or seventy years?

You may forget, in seventy years, that you are just in a waiting room. You may start thinking perhaps you are the owner, perhaps this is the house you have built. You may start putting your nameplate on the waiting room.

There are people—I have seen it, because I was traveling so much: people have written their names in the bathrooms of the waiting room. People have engraved their names on the furniture of the waiting room. It looks stupid, but it is very similar to what people do in the world.

There is a very significant story in ancient Jaina scriptures. In India it is believed that if somebody can become the emperor of the whole world he is called a chakravamn. The word chakra means the "wheel." In ancient India it was a way to avoid unnecessary fighting and violence: a chariot, a golden chariot, very valuable, with beautiful and strong horses, would move from one kingdom to another kingdom. That was the finest way to conquer world. So every king had the desire to become a chakravartin.

The story is that one man became a chakravartin—and it happens only once in thousands of years that a man becomes a chakravartin. Even Alexander the Great was not a world conqueror; there was yet much left unconquered. And he died very young, he was only thirty-three: there was not even time enough to conquer the world. What to say of conquering, the whole world was not even known! Half of the world was unknown, and the half that was known, even that was not conquered. This man, of whom I am going to tell you the story, became the chakravartin.

It is said that when a chakravartin dies—because a chakravartin happens only in thousands of years, he is a rare being—when he dies he is received in heaven with great rejoicing and he is taken to a special place.

In Jaina mythology, in heaven there is a parallel mountain to the Himalayas. The Himalayas are just made of rocks and earth and ice. The parallel to the Himalayas in heaven is called Sumeru. Sumeru means the ultimate mountain: nothing can be higher than that, nothing can be better than that. It is solid gold; instead of rocks there are diamonds and rubies and emeralds.

When a chakravartin dies he is led to Sumeru mountain to engrave his name on it. That is a rare opportunity; that happens only once in thousands of years. Of-course this man was immensely exited that he was going to write his name on Sumeru. That is the ultimate of all the great ones that have been, and will also be the catalog of all the great ones that have been, and will also be the catalog of all the great ones who are going to be. This emperor was becoming party to a lineage of supermen.

The gatekeeper gave him instruments to engrave his name. He wanted to take few of his men who had committed suicide just because their emperor was dying-they could not think of living without him. His wife, his prime minister, his commander in chief: all the great people who were around him had all committed suicide, so they had come with him.

The emperor wanted the gatekeeper to let them all come to see him engrave his name, because what is the joy if you go alone and engrave your name and nobody is there even to see?—because die real joy is that the whole world should see.

The gatekeeper said, "You listen to my advice, because this is my inherited profession. My father was a gatekeeper, his father was a gatekeeper; for centuries we have been gatekeepers to Sumeru mountain. Listen to my advice: Don't take them with you; otherwise you will repent."

The emperor could not understand, but neither could he ignore the advice-because what interest could that man have in preventing him?

The gatekeeper said, "If you still want them to see, first go engrave your name; then come back and take them with you if you want. I have no objection even now if you want to take then, but just in case you decide not to, then there will be no chance to change your mind . . , they will be with you. You go alone."

This was perfectly sane advice. The emperor said, "That's good. I will go alone, engrave my name, come back, and call you all.

The gatekeeper said. "I am perfectly agreeable to that"

The emperor went and he saw the Sameru shining under thousands of suns—because in heaven you cannot be so poor as to have just one sun—thousands of suns, and a golden mountain far bigger than the Himalayas—and the Himalayas are almost two thousand miles long! He could not open his eyes for a moment, it was so glaring there. And then he started looking for a space, the right space, but he was very much puzzled: there was no space; the whole mountain was engraved with names.

He could not believe his eyes. For the first time he became aware what he was. Up to now he was thinking he was a superman who happens once in thousands of years. But time has been from eternity; even thousands of years don't make any difference, so many chakravartins had happened already. There was no space on that biggest mountain in the whole universe where he could write his small name.

He came back, and now he understood that the gatekeeper was right not to take his wife and his commander in chief and his prime minister and other intimate friends. It was good that they had not seen the situation. They could still believe that their emperor was a rare being.

He took the gatekeeper aside and he said. -But there is no space!

The gatekeeper said. "That's what I was telling you. What you have to do is to erase a few names and write down your name. That's what has been done; my whole life I have been seeing this done. my father used to say this has been done. My father’s  father - none of my family have seen Sumeru empty, with any space, ever.

"Whenever a chakravartin has come he had to erase a few names and write his own name. So, this is not the whole history of the chakravartins. Many times, it has been erased, many times it has been engraved. You just do your work, and then if you want to show your friends you can bring them in.

The emperor said, "No, I don't want to show them and I don't want to even write my name. What is the point?—someday somebody will come and erase it.

"My whole life has become utterly meaningless. This was my only hope, that Sumeru, the golden mountain in heaven was going to have my name. For this I have lived, for this I have staked my life; for this I was ready to kill the whole world. And anybody else can erase my name and write his. What is the point of writing it?

I will not write it."

The gatekeeper laughed.

The emperor said, "Why are you laughing?"

The gatekeeper said, "This is strange, because this too I have been hearing from my grandfathers—that chakravartins come, and seeing the whole story, just turn back; they don't write their names. You are not new: anybody having a little intelligence would do the same."

In this whole world what can you gain? What can you take away with you? Your name, your prestige, your respectability? Your money, your power—what? Your scholarship? You cannot take anything. Everything will have to be dropped here. And in that moment you will understand that all that you possessed was not yours; the very idea of possession was wrong. And because of that possession you were corrupted.

To increase that possession -to have more money, to have more power, to conquer more lands—you were doing things that even you cannot say were right. You were lying, you were dishonest. You were having hundreds of faces. You were not true even for a single moment to anybody or to yourself; you could not be. You had to be false, phony, pretending, because these are things that help you to succeed in the world. Authenticity is not going to help you. Honesty is not going to help you. Truthfulness is not going to help you.

Without possessions, success, fame—who are you? You don't know. You are your name, you are your fame, you are your prestige, your power. But other than these, who are you? So, this whole possessiveness becomes your identity. It gives you a false sense of being. That's the ego.

Ego is not something mysterious, it is a very simple phenomenon. You don't know who you are, and to live without knowing who you are is impossible. If I don't know who I am, then what I doing here? Then whatsoever I am doing becomes meaningless. The first and the foremost thing is to know who I am. Perhaps then I can do something that fulfills my nature, makes me contented, brings me home.

But if I don't know who I am, and I go on doing things, how can I manage to reach where my nature was supposed to reach, to lead? I have been running hither and thither, but there is not going to be any point that I can say, "Now I have arrived, this was the place I was searching for. "

World not going to remember anyone’s name, don’t be desperate in engraving your name, someone will erase your name and write their names…!!!

Start living life with simplicity and authenticity. That gives you a great time for you to see the beauty of love, kindness and celebrations of joy in Life.

If you are chasing behind property, name and fame, you will surely miss love, kindness and joy. Just question to yourself, when was the last time you have great peace, celebrations and joy? By chasing behind name and fame, you missed to enjoy the beauty in life.

Source: These above stories are taken from the Book: Courage written by Osho. Please read this book to get more lights on life and courage. Worth reading book!!!

Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)


Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.

Friday, 17 July 2020

Emotional Intelligence [EQ]

Emotional Intelligence [EQ]


Today’s big challenge of personal and professional life is; dealing with emotions. Human beings are emotional creatures, it’s important to understand and deal with emotions. To manage emotions, we need to learn emotional intelligence [EQ]. EQ is more important than IQ.

Thoughts and Emotions are parts of your stored memory.  Here are the definitions:

Thought: an idea or opinion produced by thinking, or occurring suddenly in the mind.

Emotion: a strong feeling deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.

Emotions are very strong feelings, if you are disturbing anyone’s deeper emotions. Be ready to face consequences. Because most of the people are living like animals, if you trigger them emotionally then react like an animal. We are human being's, we have intelligence; if we use intelligence on every emotional trigger, we should respond and not react.

Example: Assume someone calls you a Dog, suddenly you jump on him like a real dog. In this case you are proving him. Because you reacted almost similar to a dog. If you use your EQ; you don’t react, you will respond. If someone calls you Dog, just think for a second, are you really a Dog? Your intelligence tells you that you are a human being. So, the person calling you as a Dog is either blind or mad,  just give a smile and move on. This I call as an EQ response. It upsets the other person and he will behave like a real dog.

Here is a great example, how Buddha used EQ: 

Buddha was passing through a village. Some people were angry, very much against his teachings. They abused and insulted him. Buddha listened silently and said, "If you are finished, then allow me to move on. I have to reach the next village, and they will be waiting for me. If something is still remaining in your mind, then when I am passing back by this route, you can finish it."

They said, "We have abused you, insulted you. Are you not going to answer?"

Buddha said, "I will never react. What you do is up to you --- I will  never react, you cannot force me to do something. You can abuse me; that is up to you --- I am not a slave. I have become a free man. I act from my center, not from my periphery, and your abuse can touch only the periphery, not my center. My center remains untouched."

Air or wind can touch or disturb the tides or periphery of the ocean. Deep ocean remains stable and undisturbed. Learn to stay in deep. If you are living in the periphery, small air blows can disturb you.

So, Buddha said, “Now I am centered. Ten years before it would have been different; if you had abused me, then I would have reacted. But now I only act.”

Here is another example of EQ:

Here the dog is controlled by its tail; actually, the dog should control its tail. Similarly, don’t be a slave to your emotions, be the master to your emotions. Egg Example is the best one on EQ.

Emotional intelligence explained with Human Brain: (based on scientific study)

Look at the below image: emotions are marked at center of our brain, thinking or intelligence are at the forehead. Generally, all our emotions are triggered after receiving them thru Ears and Eyes. Unfortunately, most of the people not using intelligent areas of the brain. If you start practicing using intelligence, you will not react, you respond.

How to practice or start using EQ:

Remember, today most of your behaviors and actions are results of repeated practices. Start practicing of using intelligence, this erases earlier brain neurons paths and recreates new neural paths that will redirect every input to intelligence parts of the brain, before responding. If you keep on using regularly, these new brain neurons will become highways and your brain will automatically redirect everything to intelligence parts. [Observe most of the Sage’s and Swamiji’s; they use this EQ in most efficient way.]

Here are the simple practices, that will help you to redirect and use your intelligence over the emotional reactions:

  1. Someone behind you continuously honks at the traffic signal, instead of thinking bad about him and boil your emotions, use your intelligence. He could be illiterate or not cultured in a good environment and making these actions and you can’t teach him good behaviours in 1minute, so just relax. 
  2. Kids are making a lot of noise, instead of thinking bad. Just imagine for a second, you were also doing more or less similar things when you were a kid.
  3. Someone driving rashly on the road, just laugh at him. Instead of feeling your emotions. This rashness is a cultured and consistent habit of that person, you are not here to correct everyone.
  4. Someone abuses you, think for a minute and respond. Stop reacting.
  5. Someone treats you in a very bad manner or some people are irritating you. Just think for a minute, if they get the same kind of parents, education, environment and learning as what you have, he or she might behave similar to you. Understand that, they lack opportunities or not matured like you.
  6. Choose every emotional trigger which is happening in your surroundings for your practice. Understand all are happening with some reason or purpose, simply nothing will happen. And self-evaluate yourself, how cool your emotions are in those situations and conditions.  Few examples are given below:
    • Sudden power cut.
    • Computer or mobile freaks out.
    • Online order not delivered on-time.
    • Sudden change in work.
    • Sudden change in environment.
    • Your vacation plan got cancelled.
    • Your friend keeps you waiting.
    • Your bike or car got an issue.
    • Meeting does not start on-time.
    • Getting trouble in joining a meeting.
    • Harsh email received from your co-worker or client.
    • Someone blaming you for other's mistakes.
    • Unexpected happenings.

“30 Minutes meditation in a day makes you master of Emotional Intelligence” [Ref: Meditation and EQ]

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence:

  1. It will avoid many personal and relationship issues.
  2. It helps you to handle difficult situations in your professional life.
  3. It helps you to build good and healthy relationships with clients and business.
  4. It helps you to make the right decision in the worst condition. (Personal and Professional)
  5. This is one of the most required soft skills in current days.

Here is a Final touch:

Dog is chasing this scooter guy, he parks the scooter, takes a stone and runs behind the dog. It runs away. Later he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind, the dog runs away. Again, he starts scooter, dog comes back and barks. Again, he parks and runs behind the dog. Now think and tell me?! Is he controlling the dog or dog controlling him!  Don’t allow dogs to control you…Use your emotional intelligence.

Click and Read this section to avoid emotional Critics à Sending Email/Message when you are angry?


Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)

Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.   

Monday, 29 July 2019

Anger Management


Anger Management
 Anger is a root cause for many health issues, Anger is a root cause for many relationship issues, and Anger is a root for many social and financial issues. Anger make human as an animal.

There is a saying: When you get angry take a deep breath and count 1 to 10. Reason; when you are angry, any decision you take at that moment may not be a right decision, because you are not using your intelligence before you respond.

Let’s see with few examples, how anger affects life:

Story of Stupid Father:
Father brought new Blue Audi car, he parked in garage at home. His 4 year old son looked at it and he carved his father name using keys sharp edge. Suddenly his father noticed that entire car got big scratches, he took some wood and beat him heavily. After few minutes, he realized that it’s a great damage he did on his son, because his son’s both the hands got broken by his evil act. He looked both car and his son, he realized that he can buy two new Audi cars, but he can’t give back his son’s hands. Later he gave insight into his son’s act on the car? He had written – Father’s Name and I LOVE YOU DAD .

Story of Wise Father:
Son came and asked, dad now a days I’m getting angry very frequently, tell me how to overcome? Father suggested him, any time you feel angry you go to the tree which is opposite to our house, take 5 nails and hit. Do this act, every time your feel angry. His son followed his dad’s instructions, started doing it as and when he was angry. Slowly his frequency of anger reduced and he started getting into no angry state.

Son asked his father, now days I’m not feeling angry and some time I feel joy and happy. Father suggested, any time you feel joy or happy, go the tree you nailed and remove 5 nails (which were nailed earlier) from the tree. Do this act every time you feel happy or joy? Son started following his father’s instruction. After few days he removed all the nails form the tree. He returned back to his father and asked. I have removed all of them, what next?

His father took him to the tree and shown the wounds and damage that happened to the tree when he nailed. After removing nails also, he can see big wounds and damage on the trunk of the tree. Father explained to his son. Anger is something similar to this, if you scold or criticize or conduct bad actions when you are angry, it will not be possible to erase those wound of mind or body which are created by your actions. You can do whatever the favour or give whatever the material you want, those bad memories or acts will stay forever.

It explains that, when you are angry do nothing, take no decision, and take a break.

How anger affects your health:
Any negative feeling disturbs you, especially; Anger, Jealous, enmity, and revenge are the worst negative feelings these are the root cause for many health issues.

Let me explain using examples: A Russian psychiatrist Pavlov conducted an experiment on the dog with the meat (Other Ref source: Click). He predicted the dogs would salivate in response to the food placed in front of them, but he noticed that his dogs would begin to salivate whenever they heard the footsteps of his assistant who was bringing them the food.

After few days he just changed the pattern of serving, before he bring a meat bowl, he asked to ring a bell, after few minutes he started serving meat bowl. After few days dog realized the pattern, the moment he bells, dog started salivation.

With this he realized that material is nothing to do with our body, thought can trigger physiological and hormonal changes in the body.

So, when you have good feelings you produce some chemical in the body that supplies to, all the body organs and your feel joy and happy. Similarly whey you have negative feeling, your body produces some chemicals that is equivalent to poison, it will impact every organ in the body and that introduces; down, dullness, sickness, and diseases in the body.

Anger, Jealous, enmity and revenge feeling are like poison tablets (capsules) you are consuming and thinking that other person will die. This will never happen, person who consumes capsules will die, not the person you think of…

Today’s most of the health issue are arising due to Anger and Fear. (Ref: Why You Get Disease)

What if someone create anger in you?
Here is what best advice given by father to the son. Before he died, he called his son and told him. You may not be possible to understand what I’m saying now, but I want to you to remember these words and use them when you are matured enough to understand what those words means to you. And don’t forget, what I’m teaching right now.

Father guides his son, if someone create anger in you? Tell the person you will come after 24 hours to answer him. And wait for 24 hours, after 24 hours whatever comes to you, go and do.

Sending Email/Message when you are angry?  
It’s really a good idea to follow the method, what our great leader Abraham Lincoln followed.

He was about to criticize General Meade for his actions and wrote a letter for the same, fortunately it was not sent to him, here is that letter, It was found among other unsent angry letters after Lincoln’s death. 
My Dear General, 
I do not believe you appreciate the magnitude of the misfortune involved in Lee's escape. He was within our easy grasp, and to have closed upon him would, in connection with our other late success, have ended the war. As it is, the war will be prolonged indefinitely. If you could not safely attack Lee last Monday, how can you possibly do so south of the river, when you take with you very few -- no more than two-thirds of the force you then had in hand? It would be unreasonable to expect and I do not expect that you can now affect much. Your golden opportunity is gone, and I am distressed immeasurably because of it. 
-Abraham Lincoln 

Any time he feels to criticize someone, Lincoln used to write a letters and those were never sent to the recipients. He was writing reading self and keeping with him only, he never sent those letters to any.

Still you want to write an email or express criticism or anger? Follow the below steps:

Step 1: Write how angry you are at this person.
Say exactly what’s on your mind. 
Step 2: Add this sentence to the bottom of the email
You know what, it’s no problem. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have made the same mistake. It was my fault for not thoroughly explaining the directions.
You’re an invaluable asset not only to our business [or my life], but to the entire comradery of the team. It’s a petty mistake, one I hope won’t happen again, yet I understand. Next time, I’ll be clearer on the directions. My apologies. Thanks again for everything you do.
Step 3: Send the email to yourself, read it 30 minutes later.
Check, how does it feel to receive that?

Some situations demands anger, how to deal with it?

If situations demand your anger, try this way; show your anger the way you are supposed to show and make that expression of anger not affecting your internal organs of the body and bodily hormones.

Because some professions are not possible to run without showing an anger. Use above techniques to run the business as usual. And make sure that anger should be purely an acting (external) and internally you should be in absolute peace. Like one person playing a villain role and behaves as a wild like a rude animal, but in his real life, he is a very innocent, cool and calm person.

Understand the difference in acting and being, when situations demands your anger. Just act don't react.

Anger is disease. Best methods to come out of Anger is; start practicing meditation. Meditation is a medicine for Anger!


Refer below link for more help on Anger:
How to Control Anger - Sadhguru
How to deal with Anger, 3 Tips in less than 60 seconds
ANGER harms ME not THEM: BK Shivani


Author: GCV (Vishnuvardhana GC)
Kereya neeranu Kerege chelli

Author Disclaimer:

I’m not a robot to be constant, consistent and complete, I’m a normal human and my blog will be contradictory like director give multiple movies have different opinions on the same subject or different subjects. I flow like a river, I really don’t look for sand, rock, trees, house, and so on. Intention is helping as many as possible before reaching the ocean. I strongly recommend to consult expert’s advice to follow and adopt any methods. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being.